Seaside
Dimly, he heard the main school clock tower known as Big Ben striking, presumably for 7.30am? Slowly, he opened his eyes, and saw he’d somehow been turned over onto his tummy. His wrists and ankles had all been released, however the Rope Of Rack And Ruin was still in place, and also his arse was in the air. It was pretty plain someone had put The pillow Punishment Points of pain beneath his body, in order to raise his rear for the rattan.
He shifted his head sideways, and saw there were still two guilty girls present….but neither of them the same as previously. Each was wearing a black shower robe….and probably nothing else underneath, so this wasn’t looking good. “Welcome back to the land of the living….bad boy….” said Mitchell Mary Murphy, pointedly omitting the salutation, since she was his Superior, “….I hope you enjoyed your Awesome Foursome with the three sodding Smiths….Shagger,” said Kelly Morgan sourly, on his second side, “we arrived a little early….” as they often tended to do, in order to see things they shouldn’t, “….it was easy for me, since I only had the short walk from your Missus’ study….” she smiled, “….I did thank her cordially for her kind hospitality overnight….” even though she’d known nothing about it, “….she assures you, she’ll make it up to you today….” which sounded ominous? “….but rather than worry with waiting for you to regain consciousness, they decided they’d rather return to their respective studies to fustigate their fags.”
Flog them, and a good grandiloquism, as contained in Grahame’s Guide . “Having had my General Studies Caning Training,” 3M continued, “in addition to your own tanning tuition, I confirmed I can wield the weapon well. Thus Uncle Sam was content to leave your Caning For Cunt in my capable hands, to be Taken On Trust. However, since you similarly showed Kelly some swishing skills, she can have half the hits….” so the unwritten rule applied: No Good Turn Goes Unpunished, “….the pretty prefect told me her currency is a straight eight, so it’ll be four each….” she sniffed, “….what about the sodding Smith Sisters’ slits, Shagger?” Don’t you love them any longer?” He shook his head. “Certainly I do,” he objected, “I just didn’t screw them this session….” he shrugged, “….it was probably as well, since I’ve some substantial sitting to do today, which would have proved positively painful to my punished posterior. But I did make my Missus yesterday evening in Stinks’ study, where we enjoyed all sorts of suffering….and sin. I can really rather recommend the rubber….should you want to spend a similar session there next term, when you’re a prefect. His Tush Tube….” the legendary long length of tubing “….which he uses to great effect in Chemistry classes, is only one item of an extensive arsenal.”
They were two separate sniggers. “I saw both Smith Sisters were still wearing some sort of suspect stretchy boobs bands,” she said, “and also tiny ones on their naughty nipples.” Both fags subconsciously stroked themselves in those spots, such was the power of suggestion. “They’re Tits Tubes,” he confirmed, “also called Bunsen Brassières. As for the Tease Tubes, they also wore similar specimens on their clits.” There were two separate shivers. “Huhh,” they both huffed in unison, with vacant expressions. Probably they were both somewhere far away on Planet Cunnie Punnie? Finally, they returned to earth, when his senior fag padded across the study and collected a cane. Oo..er….since it was his So-Sorry-Sir-Ma’am-Malacca model, knobbed nastily at irregular intervals all along its lovely length. “Are you ready for receipt of the rattan, Shagger?” she asked as she stood over him. “Yes, Ma’am….” he muttered….Wheeewww went the wonderfully whippy Whangee weapon, as she swished it silently, “….HOOO….!” he huffed at an anticipation of approaching agonies, “….AHHH,” he added as the junior fag stretched his scrotum with the Rope Of Rack And Ruin.
SWISHHTHWACKKKKK SWISHHTHWACKKKKK
“OOOO..HOOO….TWO….so sorry, MA’AM….AHHH,” he gasped at two serious stings and a sudden stretch. Sex Thrashing strokes in the staccato style really were the worst whacks. They were semi-simultaneous strikes straight downwards, without any sexual imperative, but which also landed on the same spot. Even more so, the Malacca model really packed a posterior punch.
SWISHHTHWACKKKKK SWISHHTHWACKKKKK
“YEOWWW..WOWW….FOUR, so sorry, MA’AM….AHHH,” he gasped. “The Smith Sisters said they’d meet you outside the main entrance hall at nine o’clock,” she said, “since Madam Miffy’s arranged transportation for your sun, sea sand and sex, Shagger. Knowing her, I daresay it’ll be the lap of luxury in her Mum’s Roller.” He recalled how the previous term one Amy Winehouse of dorm 6S had spotted Bultitude the butler helping her board the car. Alas The Whines was one of the Six sneaks, with everything it entailed. She’d immediately put the intelligence onto The Bush Telegraph….the girls’ grapevine, with a speed of dissemination several times that of light.
Fervently, he hoped it would be MS 1….as opposed to FUG 1T, which was her beaten up old banger? “Thank you for your half of the hits to my hiney, Ma’am,” he continued quickly, before she had any ideas about increasing the dose of derrière discipline. “You’re most welcome, as always,” she said, as she passed over the cane. “Now it’s Miss Kelly’s turn for tanning, Shagger,” said The Pirate, wittily, “your neat little bottom….simply Asking for the cane….” so another couple of dollars for his mythical collection, for when it was complimented, “….everyone else also agreed, when we were turning you over….Touching Up Tushes, Tools and Testicles.”
Free felonies for floozies, and a total of ten bucks, rather than two. But wasn’t it typical about being man….well, harlot handled in such a cavalier fashion, whilst out for the count? In reverse circumstances, the Lovely Ladies Liberation Lobby would have had plenty to say on the subject, but right now they’d be strangely silent. “I absolutely adore stretching scrotums, Shagger,” muttered Mitches, as she picked up the cord. Hardly surprising, since she was one of The Six Knackerers, and a successor in title to Brenda Smith in dorm 6K. “AHHH,” he gasped all over again. But then, he’d signed everyone’s Stretch Slave Sheets, so they were all fully entitled to demand their dues.
SWISHHTHWACKKKKK SWISHHTHWACKKKKK
“YIKES..YIKES….SIX….AHHH….so sorry, MA’AM,” he gasped, whilst wondering whether she’d remember to stop short, with studied sadism? “We’d like some clarification on something, Shagger….” she said ominously….so this one was a Yes, “….we distinctly heard the words ménage-à-quatre mentioned during the course of conversation….” Oops, “….so are we to assume you’ve increased your hopeful harem by….well, a matter of some sixdy per gross?” asked Mitches. “Your arithmetic’s sound, Mesdemoiselles,” he confirmed, “so I should have three Smiths for screwing….” she sniffed, “….which so far as I’m aware is the same sordid situation as it may be with you, The 3R’s, Racy Tracy and H2O?” Richella Ruth Rhodes….the other half of Mitches And Ritches the Bitches, plus Theresa Rhys and Harry Herbert Orwell. “Touché, Shagger,” she said, “however, I think your hiney should have another hit for being such a Cocky Little Blighter….” he’d have said the same, “….if you could kindly oblige with the coups de grâce, Kelly?” Colloquially called the Cuts Of Grace.
SWISHHTHWACKKKKK SWISHHTHWACKKKKK SWISHHTHWACKKKKK
“YAROOO..OOO..HOOO….AHHH….NINE….AHHH….a nasty nine, so sorry, MA’AM. Thank you for my thorough thrashing. I value a villain’s vapulation for the violation of a vivacious vixen’s vulva….AHHH.” Once again, there were two separate sniggers. “It’s a fella’s flogging for fucking a fetching floozy’s fancy….” muttered Mitches, “….simply some swishing when one has a shaft which sought sex,” added The Pirate, also attempting alliteration, “you may stand, Shagger.” Slowly, he did so, with a hiney which hurt horribly. “Since it’s Saturday,” he said, “it’s also Dressing Down Day. I shall shower, and I’d appreciate it if my clothes could kindly be brought in for me….” he held out his hands, and they both slipped off their robes and handed them over, “….I’d also like some breakfast….if it’s not too much trouble, Kelly.”
She shrugged. “Nothing is so for you, Sir,” she said politely, “since as you know, you’re my favourite fella.” Flattery will get you everywhere, as he padded away into the shower room. He hung up both robes, and turned on the tap. Then he stepped into the cubicle, feeling the wonderful warm water cascading all over him. “You said I could shower this morning, Shagger?” said 3M, suddenly standing starkers a foot away from him, “I’ve brought your uniform as requested….” she licked her lips, “….any other services are also available, as always….ohh,” she added with a slight squeal as he reached out, and pulled her inside. “I’m afraid you’re out of luck for a fuck, Mitches,” he said, “since I was spunked soundly by Silly….err….Uncle Sam, and under testicle torment too. The combination does tend to….well, take it out of you….” so to speak, “….however, we can still shower.” He passed her the bar of soap.
Several minutes later, they’d both been soaped soundly all over. “Should I at least rub your raw rear, Shagger,” she suggested, leadingly, “purely to aid an aching arse. Obviously you wouldn’t expect me to obtain any particular pleasure from perusal of your punished posterior.” Perish the thought, however he nodded, “Ohh….ohh….ohh,” he moaned as she stroked his stripes….the ones she and The Pirate had so recently placed. “We shouldn’t really be doing this, Mitches,” he said, “since it’s on the borderline of not being properly professional. However, you did volunteer, so I suppose my conscience is clear….well, almost. Anyway, you can cuddle me whilst we’re rinsed off. I said you could Waste Water for a while if you wished….and I won’t even add anything onto your beat sheet.”
He held her hard. “Mmmm,” she moaned as she managed to make it into a kiss and a canoodle. The shower was steamy and….and so was she. “I expect some ironing done this morning,” he said when they’d separated….” SMACKK “….Oooh….Shagger,” she squealed, even as his tool twitched. “Continue on your own, sexy Siren,” he said as he stepped out of the shower, and quickly dried himself down. Then he picked up one of the black robes, and put it on. He combed his hair, reflecting how a seriously short style was much more manageable. He’d had a compulsory crew cut during the Spring holidays, by kind courtesy of the Helmsdale-in-the-Hole Reformatory, and even now it hadn’t reached a reasonable length.
Obviously all would be in vain, since he’d be attending a similar institution at Pennance over the Summer holidays, when the same thing would happen. “Uhhh….uhhh,” he heard from the cubicle, as the sinful slut plied her pussy. “Give it the gun, girl,” he muttered, whilst watching remove the ribbed hosepipe from its hook. Then she shifted the shower setting to the strongest jet. “UHHH….UHHH….yes….YESS….YESS,” she moaned. “Have as many cums as you can manage, Mitches,” he urged, as he hung up his towel.
Then he padded back into the main study, where The Pirate was standing at his study table. She was duly adorned in her brown Unisex slave apron, plus matching high heels. “I don’t know what the senior fag’s smack was for, Sir,” she said, “but I think I ought to have my hiney hit, since I’ve managed to burn the toast….again.” Incorrigible, as always. “It was essentially for Incitement, Kelly,” he said, as she bent forwards, fetchingly….SMACKK “….Oooh….” she squealed, sounding so much like sex, the same as Mitches, “….surely you should spank me soundly for such shoddy service, Sir.” It wasn’t quite a caneable Question.
“Go and get my new spanking spoon,” he growled, “which you’ll find on my bedside cabinet.” Where he’d left it the previous night, having borrowed it from Harold Sphinx. “Oo..er, yes, SIR,” she said, as she strutted skilfully away. Even at fifteen, she was GOOD when it came to walking in high-heeled shoes. However, she’d had plenty of practice over the months. “This instrument of posterior punishment is called a Rub-a-dub spoon….” he recalled Stinks’ explanation, as she handed it to him, “….spelled as in the nursery rhyme, not Rubber Dub….although it’s made of the same heavy-duty, high impact material. It’s similar to a paddle, although as you can see it’s specially shaped. Thus the contact area is considerable as it cups the crease, and hence makes a really satisfactory slapping sound….and sting. So bend over my lap, and we’ll give it a go.”
She did so with alacrity, and as always hers was a pert and punishable posterior….PHWACKK “….OWW….” she gasped, wiggling her waist. “I shall spank until you stop squirming,” he said sternly, “although I appreciate this may take some time.” PHWACKK “….OWW….” PHWACKK “….OWW….” PHWACKK “….OWW….hit it HARDER, Sir….I know it needs it.” Was this even a punishment?
Sixteen similar smacks later, her fetching fanny finally stayed still….PHWACKKK “….OWWW….” PHWACKKK “….OWWW….” PHWACKKK “….OWWW….OMG, I’m cumming, Sir….” PHWACKKK “….OWWW….yess….YESS….YESS.” So she’d sourced some sordid sexual satisfaction from a seriously spanked seat. But then he was the same, and on occasion he’d enjoyed some spunking spanking, or being caned until he’d cum.
“You’re more than welcome to rub my reddened raw rear, Sir,” she said, hopefully. “Much as I’d enjoy the erotic experience,” he replied, “I shall have to decline gracefully….you know the reason. However Mitches might manage it, so slip into the shower room for a minute whilst I eat my cereal.” She stood up silently and strutted away, with what amounted to the….well, spankees’ gait of guilt: Look At Me, I’ve Just Been Spanked.
It was many minutes before they both emerged, with flushed faces. His senior fag was now also attired with a Unisex slave apron, though hers and the heels were pink. “I expect you’ve both been up to no good together, with Conduct Unbecoming of not-so innocent young Ladies?” he asked mildly, “was it the sixdy nine position?” Both guilty girls grinned, stitching the swishees’ smirk. It was often offered by culpable canees in class, as a prelude to public punishment. It was the one which says wanly, ‘I know how much my hit hiney will hurt,’ and absolutely apt for the action.
“How many cums?” he enquired. “Two each, Sir,” muttered Mitches. “Bend over, both of you,” he said sternly, “this is how you repay my kindness, and take advantage of my good nature. We’ll have those hands on heads, since we wouldn’t want them to get up to more mischief….” the royal We, since maybe they might? He watched whilst they assumed the Position. Their high heels helped to balance their bodies further forward, for an acuter angle of attack….and so much sexier. It was but one reason why such sinful schoolgirls featured in punishment porn publications. Mf Stern was one such, which he maintained on monthly subscription, “….three strokes each, in the staccato style.”
Swishhhthwackkkk Swishhhthwackkkk Swishhhthwackkkk
“Yeee..EEEE..HEEE….THREE,” yelped Kelly Morgan, “thank you, SIR. I simply couldn’t stop myself, and I’m so sorry, Sir.”
Swishhhthwackkkk Swishhhthwackkkk Swishhhthwackkkk
“Yeee..HEEE..EEEE….THREE,” yelped Mitchell Mary Murphy, “thank you so much, SIR. I should know better than to corrupt the nation’s youth, Sir.” Considerably too late, since The Pirate was thirdeen going on thirdy. “I think a therapeutic thrashing,” he opined, “in view of your thoroughly thelyphthoric thoughts….” he paused at another good grandiloquism, “….those which corrupt lovely Ladies. Even so, I wouldn’t worry too much, since she’s long-since successfully corrupted herself.” There were two separate sniggers. “I’d prefer poking, with some thelyphthoric thrusting, Sir….”
SWISHHHTHWACKKK
“….YIKES….FOUR, thank you, SIR,” she gasped, “I’m sorry for shameless Soliciting, Sir.” Got it in one. “You can have some next February, Kelly,” he assured her, “for your first fuck. Meantime, fetch my fry-up, before it’s burned to a frazzle. Mitches can make a suitable start with her work as well.” They both arose, and strutted away. He poured himself a cup of coffee, and took a couple of sips. “Thank you, Kelly,” he said as she picked up his cereal dish, and replaced it with a plate of fried food. He hadn’t realized his hunger, and tucked in.
Several minutes later, he was on the toast ticket. He buttered a second slice, and picked up his clip board. Beat sheets needed to be continually updated, or run the risk of unrecorded rattan. Quickly, he turned over the pages to the one he wanted.
St Stricktlands School – Fagging Beat Sheet for:- David Shagton
Senior/Junior fag (delete as applicable):- Mitchell Mary Murphy Sheet no:- 35
Dorm:- 6K School Term and Year:- LXXXIX
For the use of Prefects only. When all whacks on this sheet have been taken, it should be delivered to the School Secretary. This enables the punishments detailed thereon to be transcribed onto the scholar’s Discipline Report. Please write neatly and legibly, otherwise penalties may be applied.
He inserted the date, and considered her crime, before writing it in accordingly.
4. Conduct unbecoming with junior fag: 3 - TAKEN
Then he turned over to Kelly Morgan’s similar sheet.
10. Dereliction of Domestic Duties, Incitement: total 24 Rub-a-dub spoon OTK - TAKEN
11. Conduct unbecoming with senior fag: 3, Soliciting: 1, Total: 4 - TAKEN
Finally, it was the entries onto Sheet no:- 16 of his Private one.
6. ++++ study++++
7. Sex Thrashing, Taken On Trust (re: Ursula Smith) applied by Mitchell Mary Murphy: 4
8. as above, by Kelly Morgan: 4, Cocky Little Blighter: 1 Total: 5
Then he took another sip of tea, and glanced up at the clock again. “It’s twenty past eight, guilty girls,” he said, “so finish what you’re doing. Then you’re dismissed for the day….not just the duration. As you may have seen from my Cute Cunt Calendar, I’m taking a break at the seaside, together with my ménage….” or most of it, anyway, “….I don’t expect to be back by four o’clock, so you can take some time off, too. Report as usual tomorrow morning.” He waited whilst 3M put the ironing board away, and The Pirate finished tidying the kitchenette. “I do hope you enjoy your sun, sea, sand and….” her voice trailed off sourly, since ‘….sex,’ didn’t need to be stated. Somehow, it hung heavily in the air all by itself. “I certainly hope so, Kelly,” he replied with good humour as they hung up their Unisex slave aprons on the pegs and stacked their shoes, before dressing.
Then they stepped out of the study. Now it was his turn to dress, so he hung his robe across a chair, and padded across to his wardrobes. He opened one, and removed his basic black prefect’s uniform. Might he wear Naccatape? Why not, since when travelling, it would enable him to squirm silently whilst staying seated. Such sinful sentiments were stated succinctly on the carton. He picked up the roll of ¾ inch wide white torment tape off a peg. “Ohh….” he moaned quietly, with his gonads gathered for grief, “….OHHH,” he added with testicles tied temptingly tight to taste. Perhaps they were neat little nuts too, he reflected as he put on his long black trousers.
When fully clothed, he pocketed the spoon, and re-read his Mother’s notelet. With a little luck, it might well be a desirable device with which to dish discipline during the day? He checked his wallet, which contained quite a quantity of cash. Probably little would be needed much, but best be prepared. Big Ben was just striking for 8.30am when he stepped out of his study, and strode quickly along the gloomy corridor to the Level 6 landing. Then it was down the stone steps, which weren’t at all empty, since so many fustigated fags were making their wicked ways downstairs towards The Canteen. Indeed they were echoing from all the footfalls, and convivial conversations about floggings from fearsome fagmasters and frightful fagmistreses. As a prefect wearing basic black, he was given a wide berth. Although he wasn’t carrying his cane, he could still hit hineys hard if necessary. Soon he reached the base, and started into the first of the long, dark cold corridors. Some minutes later he arrived at the entrance hall for the Administration wing, and started up the first flight of similar steps….although these WERE otherwise empty. At the Level 1 landing, he turned into The Headmaster’s Corridor. Shortly afterwards, he reached his destination.
Iain Terrence Hayter, M.A. (Oxon)
Headmaster
Susan Sweet
School Secretary
The overhead green warning light was illuminated, so he opened the door, and stepped inside. “Good morning, Sue,” he said. Maybe it was she who rather reminded him of Anne Tee, rather than the other way around? As always, she was wearing her usual uniform, the recommended white Tanningtown style business suit for administrative Staff. Since she was seated, he couldn’t see her accompanying strict short skirt, or her matching high-heeled shoes. However, he COULD see her horn-rimmed reading glasses, which he now knew for a fact were only worn for effect.
“Good morning, Shagger,” he said, “I suppose you’re on the scrounge….?” rumbled, already, “….how may I help you?” He smiled. “There are several favours, Sue,” he replied, “the first of which is three exeats for me and my ménage….” or most of it, since she wouldn’t be aware of the new addition? “….to Slappham for a day of….” she sniggered and interrupted, “….sun sea, sand and sex?” she asked sourly, since this seemed to be the common contention, “….the first three,” he confirmed, “though not necessarily the latter. Were I to shag both Smiths, I’d hardly be in any fit state for my date this evening….which brings me to my second favour. I need to speak to Amen Carmen….so can I call the Vicarage….”? he winked once, “….put her on speaker, if you wish to be nosy.” She nodded and passed him the handset. “She’s Stricktlands 269,” she said, “so there’s no area code needed.” He dialled the number, and waited for ringing tone. “Reverend Jones,” said the ecclesiastical voice he knew so well.
“Good morning, Ma’am,” he replied, “this is Shagger, and I‘m glad I caught you before you departed to your diocesan discourse….” the dratted one, as she’d described it, “….I’m so sorry we’ve missed our date this evening. But I wonder if I might be cheeky and borrow a couple of items?” There was a slight pause. “So am I, Shagger,” she said, “since the congestion on your Cute Cunt Calendar is acute. However, I may yet be able to double up with some other slut….” exactly as he’d hoped, “….but what do you want, you shocking sinner?” He took a deep breath, “I’d still like to use The Cloisters for some flagellation fun,” he said, “only with another….well, wanton wicked Witch, which wants whipping….” what wit, “….so I’d like to borrow the key….and your Dominican monk’s black habit would also help.”
There was a short pause. “My loss is her gain,” she said ruefully, “however you’ll have to collect them, since I’m leaving shortly. I’ll put them into a carrier bag outside the Rectory front door. I won’t be needing them immediately, but get them back to me when you can.” He’d certainly do so. “Thank you so much,” he said, “Who is she, by the way?” she asked. “It’s Primula Proffer, Ma’am,” he replied, to a soft snigger. “You can’t go too far wrong with a professional prostitute….” she sniggered, “….or maybe you can….so to speak….” very droll, “….even if she’s a previous one. But enjoy….and think of me whilst you do the despicable deed. So sorry Shagger,I must dash….goodbye.” There was a loud click. “Goodbye, Ma’am,” he replied to dialling tone.
“Such sin, Shagger,” said The SS, “still, I like your style. With my three role-play personas of the prison camp Commandant, Gestapo Girl and Miss Whiplash, I’ve never thought about adding another incarnation, but some sort of mad monk does present possibilities. I can help you with your collection from the Rectory too. Your new facility of Delivery Duty is working well….” she leafed through a list, “….there’s never any shortage of takers. It’s Ghastly today….” automatically, he glanced at the window, and saw sunshine, “….I mean Lee Garston….” Ohh, “….one of The Narks….” he’d never had much time for those in the N Series of dorms, “….he was on nine Detentions….” serves him right, “….and jumped at the option, in lieu of his twelfth.”
Which would have taken him onto Daily Detention until the end of term. It would also be an Explanation to Terrence every fourth day, for a beating by the beak. “It’s absolutely ages since I visited The Cloisters,” she continued, “so he can bring the key here, and I can have a poke about….” so to speak, “….I’ll leave it in the lock afterwards, with the habit inside the door. It’ll be Nasty tomorrow….” she smiled, “….and I DO mean Ille Nastase….” named after the one-time international tennis ace, and also of dorm 5N, “….put them outside your study following your fun, and I’ll have him repatriate them for you.”
He nodded. “Should you see Leopard-skin Lucy on your travels today,” he said, “you might ask her to meet me there this evening? But could you kindly have this delivered to Amen Carmen….” he handed her a sheet, “….she liked my alternative lyrics to Mine Eyes Hath Seen The Glory, so I’ve done something similar. It’s to the tune of Andy Williams: Can’t Get Used To Losing You.” She licked her lips. “I’ll look at The Legend of the Lonesome Loser later, Shagger,” she said, “then seal it in an envelope, labelled Personal - addressee only….” which would work against prying eyes….and fingers, “….was there anything else?”
He nodded. “Yes, Sue,” he said, “it’s another phone call, this time to Slappham-on-Sea.” She rummaged around, and located a book of dialling codes. “You’ll need to add the prefix 99492, Shagger,” she said, as he recalled the number from the notelet. He dialled all the digits and waited. “Slappham 24769,” said a vixen’s voice. “Good morning, Ma’am,” he replied, “my name is Justine….” the expression on the School Secretary’s face was most eloquent, “….and we met a while ago at The Stern Maiden. I understand you subsequently called me at home, with the request I contact you, should I be in your area at all? I’m expecting to spend the day at Slappham for some sun sea and sand….” he was interrupted, “….and sex….Shagger….” what WAS this….a running gag? “….but I mentioned to your Mother how both pairs of twins would benefit from a bit of a beating on their bare bottoms. Their behaviour HAD improved, following their floggings at the restaurant. I bought a cane, but it seems swishing’s not so simple as I’d thought….” how often had he heard such sentiments? “….so it’s been back to the spanking slipper. But since they’re 16 and 17, it’s not nearly as effective as it once was. Could you kindly call, and dish some decisive derrière discipline? I’ll be happy to provide some sort of sustenance afterwards, which will save you having to buy expensive fish and chips on The Strand.”
He smiled. “It’s a deal, Ma’am,” he said, “but I’ll also bring another item with me. It’s called a Rub-a-dub spoon, which is much easier to use. We’ll give it a go, and then you could buy one yourself. My Mother gave me your address, so I’ll be over in about an hour. Goodbye for now.” The SS stared at him. “Until later, Shagger,” she agreed as she hung up. “I don’t mean to be difficult,” said Sue Sweet, “but how do you expect to reach SlapphaM-on-SeA so soon? I’ll gladly drive you to StricktlandS HalT, but the next train isn’t until the 10:02….?” she grinned, “….which will probably be full and standing with the bucket and spade brigade, since it’s a summer Saturday.”
He shrugged. “Madam Miffy’s providing a transport of delight, Sue,” he said, “or rather her Mother is….hopefully with her Rolls Royce. Anyway, all the advance arrangements are now made, so thanks as always for your assistance….and screw you soon.” She smiled….well, sweetly.
No comments:
Post a Comment